Substance

Darling, let’s get one thing straight: there is nothing sexier than a woman with something interesting to say. It’s not your Instagram feed or your wardrobe that makes you unforgettable, it’s the way your mind works, the conversations you spark, and the wisdom you bring to the table. Sure, your winged eyeliner might be sharp enough to cut glass, and your curls might bounce like they’ve got their own PR team, but let’s not forget that the most dazzling thing in any room is a woman who knows her mind, and dares to use it.

Now, I’m not suggesting we all walk around quoting Nietzsche and making obscure references to Rousseau (though, if you do, I’m already intrigued). But there’s an undeniable magic in a woman who isn’t afraid to learn. Who studies not because she’s chasing accolades or trying to impress anyone, but because she’s genuinely curious. Curious about the world, about people, about how things work and why they sometimes fall apart.

Let me tell you a little story, one that still cracks me up when I think about it. I remember sitting across from a man on a date (a "finance bro" type, naturally) who, after the usual small talk, complimented me on how “unintimidating” I was for someone who reads philosophy. Yes, darling, that’s what he said, “unintimidating,” as though I were some intellectual teacup, too delicate and adorable to make him sweat. So, being the charming woman I am (and a bit cheeky, too), I smiled sweetly and asked if he knew the difference between Camus and Sartre, or just the calorie count in an Aperol Spritz. Spoiler alert: he didn’t call back.

And honestly? I’m grateful. Because I’m not here for men (or women, or anyone) who think I’m only good for eye candy or pleasant company. I am so much more than that, and I hope you believe you are, too.

You see, there’s something powerful, magnetic, even, about a woman who doesn’t shrink herself. A woman who doesn’t settle for being ornamental, just another pretty face in a crowd. One who dares to be interesting and refuses to apologise for it. Don’t get me wrong, I adore a red lip and could probably lead a seminar on the best places in London for avocado toast (yes, I am one of those). But I also want to talk about history, about why we romanticise villains in literature, or how the legal system subtly reflects societal power structures (I mean, have you ever tried explaining the significance of the Magna Carta at a dinner party? It’s thrilling, trust me).

The truth is, far too many of us have been socialised to believe that being "too much" of anything, too smart, too outspoken, too opinionated, is something to hide or tone down. I remember being younger and feeling like I had to downplay my intellect to be “approachable.” To make myself smaller, to giggle when I actually had a valid point, to act confused when I wasn’t. The advice often given to women is to be softer, more pliable, to slip into the background so as not to make others uncomfortable. Ugh, no more.

We are not here to be pretty props in someone else’s narrative. We are the authors of our own stories. Our minds are not a burden; they are our superpower. And if we’re not using them to shape our worlds, to add richness and depth to the conversations we have, then what’s the point?

There’s a certain classiness in this, being a woman who isn’t afraid to say, “I’ve read that,” or “I don’t agree with that,” or, “Let me tell you why you’re wrong, darling, and I’ll do it kindly.” It’s not about arrogance or dismissing others. It’s about self-respect. It’s about knowing that your opinions, your thoughts, your interests, they matter, and they deserve to be shared with the world. Not as a way to win debates, but as a way to contribute meaningfully to the ongoing dialogue of life.

Let me give you another example. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve been in a conversation and someone will drop a comment like, “You must be exhausted from all your reading. You’re so intense!” Darling, intense is not a dirty word. It’s a compliment. It means I care deeply about the things that matter to me. It means I’m not interested in mindlessly scrolling through Instagram or watching the latest trashy reality show just because everyone else is. I’m here for substance, not distractions.

My bookshelves are a carefully curated mix of legal theory, love stories that make you believe in magic, feminist essays that make you burn with a righteous fire, and cookbooks that, let’s be honest, mostly serve as a source of wishful thinking. I read for pleasure, for protest, for perspective. And I do it because the world is vast and fascinating and deserves my attention. If that makes me “too much” or “intense,” then so be it, I’d rather be too much than utterly forgettable.

Being a woman of substance doesn’t mean you have to have a perfect academic record or recite entire passages of philosophy. It’s about being engaged with life, about asking better questions, about being hungry to understand the world around you. It’s about having something, anything, worth saying in a conversation. Whether that’s about the latest in political movements, a book you’re reading, a documentary you watched, or a trip you’ve been planning to take.

Do you know what makes a woman unforgettable? It’s the sparkle in her eyes when she talks about something she loves. It’s the way her voice grows passionate when she debates an issue that matters to her. It’s the little lightbulb moment when she connects seemingly random ideas and makes a point no one saw coming. And if you ever doubted it, let me tell you: that kind of woman will always be more magnetic than someone who relies solely on their looks or charm. Beauty fades, but substance, substance sticks around.

So educate yourself. Ask better questions. Read books with words you have to Google. Don’t apologise for being curious. Be the woman who can talk about art one minute and argue a Supreme Court case the next. Be the woman who is as comfortable in a debate about literature as she is in a discussion about current events. A woman who knows what she’s talking about, who understands her own value, and isn’t afraid to express her thoughts.

And when someone tells you to “tone it down” or “be a little less”, you know what to do, don’t you? Tone it up. Turn your intellect up. Turn your passion up. Turn your curiosity up. Because we’re not here to shrink ourselves into something smaller and more convenient for others. We’re here to expand, to be more than the sum of our Instagram posts, more than the shades of our lipstick, and more than the echo chambers we often surround ourselves with.

Now go out there and be fascinating. Be the woman who fills a room not just with beauty, but with ideas. With passion. With the kind of energy that leaves people thinking long after you’ve walked away. Because when you know your worth and wear your knowledge like a crown, nothing, not even a perfect date or the best brunch spot, can top the impact you’ll leave.