The Chosen One(s)

There’s something quietly powerful about the idea of a “chosen family”, especially when your nearest relatives are scattered across counties (or countries), and you need more than video calls to feel rooted. As a woman who knows her worth, I recognised early on that true value lies not in how many “friends” you have, but in the quality of those connections.

When I first arrived in London, I refused to settle for half‑hearted catch‑ups. My time and energy are precious commodities, reserved for people who uplift and inspire. I focused on building a shortlist, just two or three women whose ambitions rival my own, whose loyalty is unwavering, and whose presence feels like the safe harbour I choose to return to. Take Harriet, for example: the moment I confessed I was drowning in work, she appeared on my doorstep with a shepherd’s pie (no cheese. Ever), proof that a high‑value friendship means showing up without hesitation.

A high‑value mindset extends to how we nurture these bonds. I expect respect, whether I need a quiet evening to recharge or a cheer squad when I land a promotion. I tolerate no drama, only authenticity. When my friends notice I’m flirting outrageously with the barista at our local café, they’ll tease me with an amused eyebrow raise, not chastise me, for fun is as essential as loyalty.

We have rituals that reflect our standards: brisk Sunday dog‑walks in Regent’s Park, followed by indulgent hot chocolates that taste of self‑care; monthly “Couch Cinema” nights where we don’t just watch Cary Grant, we debate his magnetism over artisan popcorn. These traditions are deliberate investments in joy and connection, never obligatory, always rewarding.

Of course, chosen family complements, rather than replaces, blood ties. My mum still flies in for surprise visits, and I relish the confidence of introducing her to my inner circle. Watching her slot into our witty banter, with zero awkwardness, reminds me that family-worth is measured by mutual respect and shared laughter, regardless of DNA.

In our twenties, when every opportunity demands courage and discernment, a chosen family becomes your strategic advantage. They hold you accountable to your highest standards, celebrate your successes as their own, and remind you, through teasing and triumph alike, that you are never alone in pursuing greatness.

So, if your blood family is far, don’t settle. Curate your circle with the same care you’d apply to your career or personal brand. Seek those who honour your boundaries, mirror your ambition, and bring effortless warmth to your life. Because a high‑value woman knows that the finest legacy isn’t wealth, it’s the calibre of people she chooses to call family. That, my dear, is the ultimate testament to knowing, and living, your worth.